Yupa's Rules of Dungeon Survival

Reprinted across many planes, Yupa’s Rules of Dungeon Survival has saved many an adventurer. It has been condensed and codified so much that all that really remains of the original author’s advice are brief rules. Some books offer the unabridged versions of the text, which feature more in depth commentary. Yours does not.

1) Trust a flumph
2) Before you drink from a fountain or pool, toss a copper coin into it. It’s a small price to pay for your life
3) Sometimes a chest is just a chest, but don’t bet on it
4) No one carves statues of frightened warriors. If you see one, keep your eyes closed and your ears open.
5) Don’t poke skeletons. Bludgeoning works best.
6) Keep a few gems in your pocket. A hungry Xorn is a helpful Xorn.
7) Before opening a sarcophagus, light a torch
8) Traps mean someone wanted to keep you out. If a trap still works, that means there’s still plunder on the other side
9) Some wards don’t follow their object. Don’t open interesting plunder until at least 100 feet away from ornate pedestals.
10) Do not trust attractive men and women in dungeons.
11) Glowing things that don’t do anything when poked with a pole, still might when poked by a finger.
12) Always wear gloves when handling strange objects.
13) Consider all objects removed from dungeons strange until proven otherwise (thoroughly).
14) Always ask permission to walk past a statue. It never hurts to be polite and it may save your life.
15) Do not kill a Lich. They’ll just come back angrier.
16) You’d be surprised at how much in a dungeon is actually edible. That doesn’t make it a good idea to put anything in your mouth besides what you brought in with you.
17) Never interrupt anything willing to tell you a story.
18) Runic circles can be very good, very bad, or very boring. Unfortunately, it takes an intelligent being to determine this. Try to make sure your friend goes first.
19) Make offerings at any dais or alter you find and cannot identify. Unless you’re a paladin and your god is watching.
20) Always check behind tapestries and drapes. Similarly, always check beneath rugs. Do this with a 10-foot pole, in case you actually find something.
21) A spear or quarterstaff is not a proper substitution for a 10-foot pole.
22) Don’t mess with fungus. Yes, some can be eaten and most are harmless. Others eject spores that kill you in less than a day.
23) Every adventurer should have a large towel.
24) If you find something powerful intentionally imprisoned in a dungeon, there’s probably something worse that put it there. If that thing isn’t gone, you should be.

Newly added
25) Stormfronts in the Valley of Winds are traversable, but dangerous. The Dusters within are to be avoided at all costs.

Most adventurers add their own notes to their copies of the book, passing them on to others when they retire and leading to many bastardized copies of the book. It is generally assumed that an adventurer will add their own notes and advice in their copies. A blank Rules of Dungeon Survival is either unused, or belongs to an unsuccessful person.

Yupa's Rules of Dungeon Survival

The Zhentarim Gambit Okinawabeaches